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Supporting a Loved One with Depression

October 21, 2024  |  coping, depression, mental health, support
Valerie Walch

By Valerie Walch, MHRB Communty Impact Coordinator

October is recognized as National Depression and Mental Health Screening Month. Many of us may have friends or family members who are experiencing depression. Maybe you're looking for ways to offer support but feel uncertain about what to say or do. If so, you’re not alone. It can be difficult to navigate these conversations, and you might worry about saying the wrong thing or not being helpful enough. Having close relationships with individuals who face depression can be confusing, discouraging, and emotionally taxing. Here are some tips to remember that might help you support those around you who are struggling:

 

1.       Say SOMETHING

Don’t let the fear of saying the wrong thing stop you from reaching out. It is better to show the person that you care by checking in on them, rather than not saying anything at all. For many people dealing with depression, it can be hard to do daily tasks, initiate conversation, or seek help, so your outreach may be appreciated more than you realize. Any chance that you get to show the person that you care is a good chance to reach out.

2.       Acknowledge the Situation

It can be hard to come to terms with the reality of the situation, especially when the person with depression is someone very close to you. While it may be easier to think that they are just feeling down or that they should be able to snap out of it, mental illness is not something to be minimized. Remember that having a mental illness has genetic, environmental, and personal factors that are complex and often beyond one’s control. Understanding that this is a process can foster a more supportive environment.

3.       Be the Supporter, Not the Fixer

Say it once, say it again: you can’t “fix” everything. It's important to remember that you can’t solve everything for someone else. If only we could! You can be the person to connect them to professional help – especially if it’s a youth who needs someone to guide them to services – but your primary role as a loved one is to listen and give them a space where they can talk freely about what they are feeling, without pressure to fix the situation.

4.       Engage in Meaningful Activities

Instead of texting or asking them about how they are feeling, invite them to do something with you where they aren’t pressured to talk about it! Maybe it is watching a movie, having a picnic, going on a walk, eating their favorite meal… These shared experiences in each other’s company can provide comfort, distraction, and help them feel that everything will be okay.

5.       Have Hope

It can be incredibly discouraging when you feel like you have tried everything to help your loved one, and it seems like nothing is working. Focus your attention on the fact that depression is treatable, and there is always the hope that things can and will improve. Continue showing up for them, value the closeness that you have, consult with experts, and remember to always reach out to others in their support network to collaborate in efforts to get that person help.

 

If You Are Really Concerned

If you notice that the person seems “off” or not like themselves, or if you notice any warning signs of suicide, that is an important time to check in. It is best to ask directly, “Are you thinking of suicide?”. Create a space for them to share their feelings. If possible, have local crisis resources on hand. If the person expresses suicidal intent, it is important to make an effort to connect that person to professional help. You can do this by calling 988 with the person by your side to learn together what to do next. If the person has a suicide plan and the means to do it, call 911 or go to the emergency room together.

Please note that having depression does not mean that the person is having suicidal thoughts. In fact, most people with depression learn to function and thrive with proper medication and treatment. There IS hope!

 

Call to Action

If you’re concerned about yourself or a loved one, consider taking a screening test. Quick, easy, and effective, these tools help screen for mental illness symptoms and can provide local resources. Remember that seeking help takes a lot of strength - you deserve treatment, and you don’t need to face this journey alone.